March 15th
An Early Departure?
If I was stingy with my words before I saw the photograph, I was downright mute afterwards. Fortunately, absorbed by her family’s accomplishments, Brenda never noticed. She rattled off the details of her children’s résumés as if I were interviewing her for Mother of the Year; I pretended it interested me by smiling and occasionally raising my eyebrows. In truth, it took all the willpower I could muster to sit and not bolt. The two voices inside my head went back and forth with, “It’s just a coincidence. He’s in Scottsdale, Arizona; you’re in Lenore. You’re as likely to run into him as George Clooney.”
“But he’s a dark-haired man, he’s single, and we have a connection, his sister. And besides, George Clooney’s not single; this man, Richard, is.”
“Get over yourself. In a few days you’ll leave here, get back on the cruise ship and leave for your next port, never to see or hear from Brenda or her brother again.”
She, or I, had a point. To guarantee nothing developed I could leave – not in a couple of days, but tomorrow. I came to the abbey to recharge, to make peace with myself and sense of my life, but all this trip has managed to do is add more confusion and anxiety. Instead of calming the fires, this visit’s thrown gas on them. And it’s getting way too hot for me!
I know the abbess foresaw my future, but she made it sound like I had a few months, not days, to adjust to the idea. The rational side of me wanted to believe this was all a coincidence, but sometimes, although she seldom admitted it, that side proved to be wrong.
“…And maybe you could meet my brother,” Brenda’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“What!” I yelled, and then recovered, “Sorry, I mean, what did you say?”
She looked at me, then continued, “I said Richie’s coming here tomorrow; he, and a few of the other women’s husbands are planning to join us for the second week of our trip when we travel to Ireland. We leave on Saturday, but you’ll get a chance to meet him before then.”
“Um, sure, that would be great; I’d love to meet him,” I lied. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to use the ladies’ room,” I said as I was pushing my chair back and rising to leave.
“Will you be back?” Brenda asked.
“No, I don’t think so. That run did me in this afternoon; I think I’ll turn in early, but maybe I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow?”
“Sure, we’ll save you a seat.”
I waved then quick-footed it to the restroom. When I entered the stall I didn’t know whether I should faint or vomit. Before I did either, I sat down on the seat and put my head in my hands. I had to stop the spinning so I could get off this ride. To do that, I needed a plan. I decided that first I had to call the ship to see it its repairs were completed. The captain told us they’d take about a week, which, if done on time, meant we could reboard tomorrow. Second…. I didn’t know what second was. I couldn’t think that far ahead. And considering I couldn’t even call before tomorrow – no cell phone service within five miles of the abbey and as far as I knew, no landlines available to the public either – I’d have to wait for my next move until after my morning bus ride into the city.
I sat up, the nautiousness and vertigo subsiding, and then made my way back to my room. I dressed for bed and hoped for sleep; the sooner I slept the quicker the morning came, and the sooner I made that call.
